We support each other, we share equal responsibility, when I wake up, you wake up; we go to Doctor’s together; we do baby’s shopping together; we take decisions for the baby together. Yet, I feel, we are still not there, there is something missing and that something is very important. In our pursuit to be good parents, to fulfil all our responsibilities as parents we forgot a very important aspect of parenting… and that is APPRECIATION.
We are trying so hard to be a good parent individually that we have made it a kind of competition as if we are running a race to see which one between us is better, who handles the baby better, who teaches new things first to the baby and if the baby says a new word we argue to take its credit. What we don’t do is… we don’t appreciate each other, we don’t encourage each others’ efforts. This has now become quite evident in our everyday life.
When our baby said her first words, instead of celebrating our joint efforts both of us wanted all the credit, you said, ‘She said Papa first because I keep repeating it’ and I said,’She said Papa first because all day I say this word to her, go give this to papa, call papa, hug papa’. SO, instead of being happy about her first word we were competing.
More often than not, I feel that whenever you or I make a mistake, example: The baby bumped its head when either one of us was there, the other one starts judging, ‘you did not keep the pillows properly’, ‘You were too must lost in the game’, ‘You are always careless’… Sad but parenting is not a competition. We are trying to win alone and this way we will only fail.
I remember when we were talking about the things that interest her, I don’t think we were actually using our observation about her. All we did was justify that she is more interested in things that either one of us likes. In our race to be a better parent alone, I guess not only we will lose but our child might also suffer or learn ways to manipulate us to get things done. Both are equally dangerous.
Not that we are doing this individually but becoming parents for the first time, we are trying very hard to be the best. I feel we forgot what we once said to each other… WE COMPLETE EACH OTHER… I complete you, you complete me. We can only be the best when we are together, when we start acknowledging each others’ efforts towards our baby.
Sounds funny but I guess we missed the ‘l’ in the above statement and as soon as we became parents… I complete you, you complete me… changed to… I compete you, you compete me 😛
But no, seriously, we need to change this. I want to be the best Mom and for that I need you, your love and appreciation, I want you to admire me as a mom, I want you to say that I am good and same applies to me.
We have to win together, we need to learn the art of appreciating each other as parents. I don’t know if there are more competitors like us out there but I do know is that parents cant compete, they have to work as a team, so dear husband wanna join my team or if you say I would hop in to your team.
Your Ex Competitor
This blog of mine was originally published on http://www.mycity4kids.com an amazing site for parents