“Ye kya hua hai isey?”, “Theek se dekh paati?”, “Ye chala toh Jaaeyga” are some questions I have become habitual to; and the questions are then followed by some more questions and finally taking away other kids from my daughter. My daughter keeps standing and waving goodbye to them and I pick her up in my arms to play again.
So, the thing is that, as mentioned in one of my blogs earlier my daughter has a birthmark on her forehead that reaches up to her head and to the right eyelid as well. Basically it is a Macular stain also called salmon patches, angel kisses, or stork bites, these faint red marks are the most common type of vascular birthmark. They’re often on the forehead or eyelids, the back of the neck, or on the nose, upper lip, or on the back of the head. They may be more noticeable when the baby cries. Most often they fade on their own by the time a child is 1 to 2 years old, although some last into adulthood. And they are absolutely harmless to the baby.
Plus none of the birthmarks are contagious… You must be thinking that I am stupid enough to say such an obvious thing. Everyone knows birthmarks are not contagious. Ya, well! I thought so too that everyone knows this but now I can clearly see that not everyone knows it.
I have seen people(outsiders and not family) being biased and trying to avoid my daughter because to them the birthmark looks strange and they leave no scope to make it too obvious to me that they think my daughter has a problem. Well, you know what I think these people are big Idiots.. yes, I said this and I truly mean it.
They ignore her at birthday parties, I have seen a 60 year old woman taking all other kids same as that of my daughter’s age play in a group completely ignoring my daughter who was standing right in front of her. She was waiting for her turn, a little, one and a half year old girl, she kept standing and looking at other kids play when that lady made sure that my daughter’s problem does not affect other “beautiful” kids.
I came back as soon as the cake was cut and cried, she is so young totally unaware what just happened. But I cried, I could not control my tears, not because of sadness but because of anger, ANGER… How can a woman that old do such a petty thing. My husband said may be I am overthinking and there might be a possibility that the AUNTY did not really notice her. He was wrong because the same thing happened again and again and again in park, in corridor, in Kanya poojan.
Then there are ones who console me and say, “Chala jaaeyga dheere dheere”, “Kam toh ho rha hai” once okay, twice okay but every time we meet they say the same thing.She is my daughter, she is amazingly beautiful, her birthmark does not bother me at all, it is not harmful to her health and I am perfectly okay with it.. it is these people who have a problem.
Once I went to a kirtan, and after it was over all of us were sitting and talking. There were three girls including my daughter. One of the women took the other two girls in her arms and said, “Ye dono ek jaisi hai, gori gori” I mean come on do you really have to do this? Little girls and you are talking about fairness. I am not bothered about this affecting me, I am worried about my daughter who because of these pretentious people might start feeling that there is something wrong with her when she is absolutely perfect, she is smart, beautiful, intelligent and most importantly she is just a child. What bothers me is a little question that I see in her eyes, “Why did aunty take away my friends?” “Why did aunty say hi to everyone except me?”She can’t talk much right now but I know once she starts talking I will have a lot of questions to answer. She will ask me and I will tell her that she is a perfect girl, she has a beautiful smile, big bright eyes and she is a strong girl, an intelligent person who should not bother about what others (Stupid and pretentious people) think of her instead she should be proud of how God has made her.
To be honest I am not able to think of one quick answer to all these silly questions for the people who console me when I am totally fine.
All I am trying to do is make my daughter feel comfortable and happy and tell her that she is amazing.