Judging And Shaming A C-Section… Is It Right?

I have seen people judging women whose babies are born via C- section. They draw conclusions that the mother did not want to undergo pain, or she might have taken too much rest or the doctors are bad…. and even worse (She went in too early for c-section otherwise we might have got a grandson instead of a girl; seriously not even used the word grand daughter… okay so waiting for a few more days can change the gender of the baby)Β  and so she chose C-section. But I want such people to know what a woman goes through when she has to undergo C-section.

Doctor: “Swati, dear everything is fine and your baby is healthy but you need to be careful”.
Me: (with a heavy heart) “Why? What happened? Is my baby OKAY?”
Doctor: “Yes, it seems your baby is too active. Your baby has two loops of umbilical cord around its neck”.
Me: (staring at her without any expressions).
Doctor: Call me whenever you feel your baby is not moving. Keep a track of its movements.
Me: (No expressions) Ok. Is there anything I can do so that the loops come out? Is it my fault? Did I do anything that led to this?
Doctor: No no, this happens a lot of times. Babies play with the umbilical cord. May be it will untangle itself.

What the doctor had told me changed everything for me. It gave me a fear that killed me every second, everytime my baby did not move I panicked, I prayed, I cried, drank sweetened cold water, laid down on my right side, and tried everything the doctor said toΒ  make the baby move and everytime after doing so my baby kicked again and I felt relaxed.

My baby’s kicks meant the world to me, I wanted it to kick me all the time so that I would know that my baby is fine. I went for long walks, did physical labour as suggested by elders and doctors so that I could have a normal delivery. I wanted to experience every moment of becoming a mother.

Feb 15, 2014

I was at a relative’s place. The baby did not kick all night…

Me: It’s not kicking.
Husband: Don’t worry, may be it is sleeping, drink water, take a walk. Let me call the doctor.

He called the doctor and she asked us to come next morning.

He was there by my side. I again drank sweetened cold water, laid down on my right side but it did not move all night. All night I prayed and cried and did not close my eyes even for a second. Early morning we headed towards our place to see the doctor and it seemed like the longest journey of my life. While I was about to leave for the doctor’s place my baby kicked and kicked. I was so happy! I had tears of joy in my eyes. I could finally breathe.

March 1, 2014

It was my birthday. I went to Sheetla mata mandir in gurgaon. All I did was pray for my baby’s safety. I prayed that if God could save only one person then it should be my baby. But I knew I wanted to live with my baby, I wanted to see how my baby looked, I wanted to be there for my baby.

That evening my in-laws arrived, they celebrated my birthday and all went good. My father in-law left on March 3, morning and my mother in-law stayed with us.

March 3, 2014

The baby had not kick since morning.

March 3, 2014, 6:00 pm

I was getting restless and shared that with my mother in-law. She calmed me down and gave me something to eat. We then called the doctor and she asked me to reach hospital asap. My mother in-law prayed to the god, she touched my forehead and told me that everything will be all right. She gave me the prasad that she had brought from theDwarkadheesh temple. Then I and my mother in-law left for the hospital. My husband was in the office, he reached the hospital directly.

I can’t deny the fact that my mother in-law was there by my side calming me down like my own mother. I could see that even she was worried but she tried to look calm for my sake. The doctor did my sonography and the baby was fine but its heartbeat had increased, my blood pressure was also high. My husband reached and they immediately took me to the OT.

March 3, 2014, 9:30 pm

They asked my husband to sign a document stating that if something happens to me, the hospital is not responsible and stuff. He told me later that he was scared to sign that because he was scared to loose us.

I was in the OT and they tried to give me anesthesia. It was PAINFUL!!!!!! It still is… when I bend down to work my back hurts… I cried and shouted and all the time took my husband’s name or prayed. After sometime my lower body was numb, I remember my gynac was standing outside the OT, she was a motherly figure, she had told me that nothing will happen to my baby. I know C section is very common but for a woman undergoing it for the first time, it is a big, a very big thing. I was scared!

March 3, 2014, 10:13 pm
Soon I heard my baby crying, “Is my baby ok?” were my first words and then they showed her to me… a beautiful baby girl… Awwww!! (As I am writing this line, I can actually feel that moment with open eyes and I have tears in my eyes… “Wowww!… that’s my baby, and I was so happy…

It was then that I understood that it does not matter whether I had a C-section or a normal delivery what mattered was that my baby was safe and healthy… I embrace all the marks and the cut with all the love because they gave me an angel πŸ™‚

A message to every new mom, do not let anyone’s opinion affect you, if it helps keep punching such people virtually in your mind… it helps πŸ˜› because as your child will grow up you will only laugh at such things and wonder why you gave a **** to such useless people making judgements…. each one of us rocks… normal delivery, c-section, adoption… we moms rock and it is all that matters

And this is what I pray for everyone who is about to become a mother – May God keep you and your baby safe and healthy forever, May your little angel bring love and happiness in your life and May you all stay together happily. πŸ™‚ May God bless everyone the way He has blessed me and my family πŸ™‚

Love you all πŸ™‚


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